**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
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She even gives head with a lisp.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
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2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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