I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
