You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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