He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
