So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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