And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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