vagina is talking i cant
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
