# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
