so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
