I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
