girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
