Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
