I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
