I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He had one of those small greek statue penises
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
