True but thats because hes a fetus.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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