Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
