i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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