And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
