I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
