Sry I called you an 8
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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