theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
