i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
