i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
