He is an equal opportunity slut.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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