The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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