saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
well you can't waste a boner
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
sex in a hospital.. check
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
