think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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