apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
