Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
that's an acceptable place to lick
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
