isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
