I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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