goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
