and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
COCAINE IS GR8
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
