batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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