Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
