She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize