Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
