Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
