So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Enjoy the penises
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
