Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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