he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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