Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
