well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he puts the penis in happiness.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
