Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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