so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
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