it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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