She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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