he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
