We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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