I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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