i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
