It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
