I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
