In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
