Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
this hospital has no fireball
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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