An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
