It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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