Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
