Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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