we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
