trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
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So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
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I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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