What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
